Sure, they drive you nuts. They step on every last nerve and expect you to thank them for it. But, it's all worth it, right? Children bring so much joy into our lives that we couldn't possibly imagine living without them, right? They are our reason for being; they complete us. Right? Anyone?

But seriously, do kids make us more or less happy? Apparently, it's the latter -- they make us less happy. At least that's the conclusion a number of researchers have come to in recent years. One theory is that because couples are marrying and having children later, they are getting more of a taste for the footloose-and-fancy-free life and the responsibilities of parenthood just don't compare.

While they may very well make us less happy, it seems to me that the easy path isn't always the most rewarding. Certainly, sitting on the couch watching television is easier than climbing to the top of half dome, but which is the more rewarding in the long run? I'll take the blisters and backache, thanks.

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There's a lot to appreciate Maggie Gyllenhaal for--she's a great actor who tackles thoughtful roles. Perhaps the producers of her new movie appreciate her even more now that she's a mom. Gyllenhaal recently used her parenting skills on the set of the movie Farlanders to calm two of her co-stars.

Gyllenhaal is starring in the film, her first since becoming a parent in 2006, alongside eleven-month-old twins. At one point the babies were crying incessantly and unable to be stopped. Gyllenhaal slipped into mother mode and calmed them so filming could continue.

Maggie thanks her lucky stars she was a mother and had learned those skills. Says Gyllenhaal, "If I had not been a mom and known how to calm a baby, talk and hold the baby, the whole day would've been wasted." She also stated that she felt like a mom the whole day, not just at home but also on the set. Brings new meaning to the term 'working mother,' eh? good work, Maggie!

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"Things are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak
And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day.

-The Rolling Stones "Mother's Little Helper"

Between the proliferation of kid activities, the increased expectation of parental involvement, and the demands of work AND home, today's mothers are being pulled in more directions than ever before. How are modern mommas getting more hours in their day? It's not a pill like the Rolling Stones sang about.

A study by The National Sleep Foundation found that 65% of mothers regularly drink caffeinated beverages to make it through their day. And we're not talking just a cup or two, Sarah Kripal, mother of two from Lincoln, Nebraska admitted, "I need about four energy drinks, three cups of coffee and a six-pack of soda every day." Lindy Smith, a mom of three says, "I usually drink two to three pots of coffee a day. I am sure this is not good for me, but how do you keep up?"

In spite of research that coffee can reduce inflammation and decrease blood sugar levels, caffeine can trigger migraines, heartburn, gastrointestinal problems and put women at an increased risk of miscarriage. And unlike the original Mother's Little Helper, liquid energy requires no prescription is readily available in various sweetened and foamy forms (vanilla lattes are my weakness!) in nearly every city in the nation, making it easy for busy moms to grab a delicious cup of jet-fuel whenever energy levels sag.

No doubt about it, caffeine is a hard habit to break and current lifestyles make it hard to imagine why we'd even try giving up the one thing that helps us squeeze more hours into a day.

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When I was single, online matchmaking was pretty much unheard of. There were a few sites where you might hook up with another person (anyone remember Prodigy.com?), but chances were good that person wasn't actually single. Or employed. Or remotely attractive. Things have come a long way since then and online matchmaking is quite popular and for some, very successful. And now, online dating has taken the next, logical step: online marriage counseling.

Created by Les and Leslie Parrot, the same people who brought you eHarmony.com, eHarmony Marriage is a computerized program promising to help couples communicate better, rekindle romance, and resolve conflicts more compassionately. Leslie Parrott is a marriage a family therapist who says that this is the perfect solution for those who aren't quite ready for traditional counseling, but want to improve their relationship.

The program involves each partner answering an online questionnaire covering everything from finance to spirituality. The responses generate a report outlining the couple's strengths and weaknesses and a proposed marriage action plan. "It will reveal where you guys are really strong and where you will find the most benefit if you invest in this area," Parrott says.

As far as the investment, the program costs $150 and takes six to eight weeks to complete. Dr. Parrott admits that online therapy might not be the best choice for couples on the brink of divorce, but sees it as a cost-effective option for those needing to open up the lines of communication.

I tend to agree. Whether you get it from a book, a counselor's office, or online, learning to communicate better is pretty much the key to everything, right?

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I usually work in the mornings when the house is quiet, before the rush and hum of our lives takes over the day, like so many parents everywhere--trying to carve out a few extra moments; trying to keep my hand on the slim thread of my life before there were kids, and peanut butter toast and jam-faces to wipe and milk to pour and now, a puppy to feed and walk, too.

But lately, in these quiet, early mornings, I've had company. My middle son Avery wakes to my softest footfalls, and climbs out of bed just one step behind me. I can hear the door to the boys' room open (Avery is careful not to wake anyone else) and the thump of his tiny bottom as he slides down the stairs. Soon enough he's in my lap, head tucked beneath my chin. He doesn't ask for anything; he doesn't try to stop me. He simply sits in the cup of my lap and falls back asleep, while my fingers plink away at the keyboard on the desk.

This is not what I expected, when I learned I'd be a mom to a child with special needs. It's nothing I could have predicted, based on the books I read or the information we got from the hospital. Back when I was a new mom to Avery, I was hungry for stories about moms of kids like mine. I wanted to be able to imagine our future, but all I could come up with was sadness and adult diapers. I needed help.

One mom writing about her life with her son with Down syndrome is Emily Perl Kingsley. In her widely-read essay, "Welcome to Holland," she uses a travel metaphor to explain her new, unexpected life: she'd been planning to go to Italy like everyone else, but the itinerary changed. Her destination was a different place--not better, not worse, just different. Hers would be a trip to Holland.

"Welcome to Holland" came to me via one of the nurses in the NICU. It was a battered, graying photocopy. Someone had taken the time to add a picture of tulips across the top, and at the end there was a little string of stylized Dutch windmills, more than a dozen marching across the bottom of the page.

At the time, I wasn't sure what to make of such a thing. That the woman writing the essay (Emily) had a perspective to share was clear; whether I would come to agree with it, was not. That the person who created the photocopy wanted to help women like me, mothers trying to find their way, was also clear; how these worn, aged pages would aid me, was not.

This is what happened: I began seeing references to Holland everywhere. All the nurses in the NICU wore a particular brand of shoes--they were clogs. There was, improbably, a reconstructed Dutch windmill just off the highway I traveled each day to and from the hospital. And the farmland windmills dotting the wide, open grasslands (which had always looked to me like symbols of the American prairie) made me think of the windmills of Holland. They, in turn, made me think of a simple children's toy--pinwheels. How could I not have seen all this before?

And the same became true of Down syndrome. I began seeing it everywhere--a lady waiting to cross the street on the corner; a young man pushing a grocery cart with his mother; a baby with a tall shock of brown hair; on television, in the news, in the New York Times.

I've been Avery's mama for 5 years already, and it's not just Holland I see. These days, I'm more likely to notice the man walking with the limp; or the young woman with rigidity in her muscles; or the child overwhelmed by sounds. The causes for such things, or the names for them, are not important to me--what I see is the man, the woman, the child. I see what's different, but I also see what we share.

Even still, I'm sometimes caught off-guard. We live in a 70-year-old log home; its walls are covered with layers of dusty wallpaper that peels from the ceiling in long strips. Each weekend, we tackle another room--scraping, sanding, priming, painting. In the kitchen, beneath the fake-brick wallpaper and the magenta paisley paper, we uncover a pastoral scene: horses, riders, trees, a lake. And at the water's edge? A Dutch windmill, of course, just like the ones on my photocopy.

I hope I would have discovered this way of being in the world on my own, but in truth, I think it's something I owe to becoming Avery's mama. And the thing is, I'm grateful for it. I like my eyes that see. Call it whatever you please--Italy, Holland. I like it here, and I don't want to go back.

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Time Magazine recently interviewed an editor-at-large from popular magazine Psychology Today. The topic? Children, and whether or not we're turning our kids into wimps. Hara Estroff Marano, the interviewee, had much to say on the subject of children, and how we raise them. Marano, who is also a grandmother and author of a new book titled A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting, says we are turning our kids into wimps. She says we need to let our kids have bad experiences as it's the only way they learn.

Marano pointed out her research on the college campus, noting that her colleagues commented that many of the students they were treating lacked coping skills. Says Marano, "...they have no idea how to manage the vicissitudes of life." Why has this happened? Well, according to Marano we're worried about our kids being successful. We push them too hard to achieve, and we worry more about branding than experience, focusing on sending them to the best schools, etc., when perhaps the brand name of Harvard or Yale is not what they need. Access to information through the Internet makes everything fleeting and transitional and ultimately obsolete before we can even understand it fully.

Marano also argues, along with much of our nation, that our children are being over-medicated and that play time is not valued as it should be. And, shocker, she feels we're too involved in every aspect of our children's lives. So how to deal? Well, according to Marano, we need to step back, let kids prove their competence, let them play, and make sure we eat together five times a week. I don't know if doing these things will save our kids from being wimps, or if they're wimps in the first place, but she does provide an interesting perspective.

Your thoughts? Do you think we overprotect our children and undervalue their ability? Or is that what it takes to get through this crazy modern world?

Pic by summitcheese.

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Join the club, Ange! Being a mom rocks--it's the greatest. Not without its intense work, but the payoff is the absolute ultimate.

Angelina Jolie recently revealed that she, like millions of other non-celebrity moms, prefers motherhood to working. The Oscar-winning actress also commented she enjoyed traveling for work and getting to work in the field with refugees.

Ange says that rather than having the attitude of getting to work next that she and Brad take turns with one working while the other one gets to stay home with the kids. Says Jolie, "I love being a mom." It's a good thing she does! With four kids and two more on the way, Ange and Brad are on their way to becoming the next John and Kate Plus 8!

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Ok, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to be totally honest. Recently, a friend of mine revealed that when she went into the hospital to have her first child, wherein she had a Cesarean, she was offered and took advantage of free liposuction while she was in there.

My pal said she figured they were in there already, so why not go for it? Within a month of having her baby, if that, she was back in her regular jeans. Meanwhile, here I am, going about it the regular old way of the vajayjay, and I got nothing but running fourteen miles a day trying to get my butt back to its original, non-Texas size.

My friend said, however, that when she had her second child (also C-section, not VBAC), she was not offered such a thing. When she asked the doctors and nurses looked at her like she was insane. Her first child was born in New York City, her second, upstate. Perhaps it was a city trend. Perhaps it was because she had a rather large baby in there. Perhaps it was because she had a scheduled C-section. Perhaps it was NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So. Were you offered a free bit of lipo when you went under the knife? 'Cuz if so, it might explain why all those Hollywood moms look pencil thin ten minutes after giving birth. And, it may be reason enough to sign up for an elective C-section!

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Finally, after all this time, Nicole Kidman and I have something in common. The Oscar-winning actress is set to become a mom this year, and like me, she cried at her ultrasound. Sound silly, but it's true--an ultrasound can be one of those moments in life where everything--everything--changes.

Says Kidman, who feared at one point she would never bear a child, "To feel life growing with you is something very, very special, and I'm going to embrace that completely." Kidman went on to say, in an interview to Vogue Magazine, that you either walk through life and experience it or are a voyeur, and she's not a voyeur. I'm not 100% clear on what she meant but that, but frankly having an ultrasound does make one a bit of a voyeur! Your little unborn baby has no idea you're watching him or her do his or her thing in the womb.

Still, to see who it is that's giving you all those kicks, and that gas--well, it's nothing short of a miracle. I laugh now, but every time I even hear the heartbeat, which is about once a month, I get all weepy. There is nothing more beautiful than the sound of your child's heartbeat. Good luck to Nicole and Keith Urban as they wander through this glorious experience that is carrying and birthing a child. If she's like this now, just wait until she gets one of those 4-D ultrasounds!

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I don't know about you, but worrying is one of my top hobbies. I come from a long line of worriers--it's simply what I do. Therefore, parenthood was a natural progression for me; now I have a place to focus most of my worrying and perhaps some good will come out of it.

But, it is now being suggested that perhaps worrying is a waste of time. According to a recent article in the Times Online, human beings are hard wired to worry, but most of it is a waste of energy. People worry about things that actually matter about ten percent of the time. Those who spend time worrying are generally less productive and less happy. A lab study conducted at both Yale and Harvard, where I'm sure students if not faculty do a great deal of worrying, concluded that it takes about five minutes to bring down someone's mood. I can vouch for that every time I think about gas.

The article goes on to contend that worry, like other "evolutionary products" like the spine and the fight or flight mechanism, is not the best of designs. Humans tend to worry about long-term things rather than the immediate future. Rather than, "I'm going to get fired right now, " for example, someone might instead worry about the long-term effects of being fired--being able to provide food for the family, pay the rent or send the kiddos to college. So, how to combat worry? Well, get organized. Use a planner or the Outlook calendar. Prepare. Make a decision. Or, just be like my husband and don't even bother thinking about it, let alone doing anything about it--things tend to take care of themselves.

Photo by Neubie.

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Kate Hudson has it all. She's an actress with a good track record in Hollywood, she has celebrity parentage, she was married to a rock star and had his baby, and her kid is as cool as she is. Not content to just enjoy that success, Kate has taken it upon herself to save the world, one beautiful tress at a time.

Hudson and long-time hairstylist, friend and probably co-conspirator in all things fabulous, David Babaii, have created a haircare line that promises to be kind to the environment as it cleans and beautifies your hair. The products will also be cruelty free. More than just putting her money where her mouth is, Kate also served as the test subject for all the ingredients in the products.

The line will be called David Babaii for WildAid and is set to be affordable as well as conscious. Ten percent of the profits will be donated to the WildAid animal conservation group. While on the surface a link to parenting might not seem apparent, I would go so far as to say that she is making the world a better place for her son.

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Actress, Givenchy spokeswoman and all-around pretty lady Liv Tyler recently spilled the beans on what life has been like since becoming a single mom. The Hulk star recently split from Spacehog rocker Royston Langdon and has been going it solo with their four-year-old son, Milo.

Tyler, who has always seemed so down to earth to me, despite being daughter of rock legend Steven Tyler, says she spends her evenings at home in front of the television instead of partying. And, she likes it!

After five years in a high-profile marriage, I can imagine Liv, or anyone, enjoying the quiet life! Tyler says her other favorite activity other than holing up in her New York City pad is eating popcorn and going to the movies. With two new movies out (The Hulk and the previously released The Strangers) I can imagine wanting to spend a little down time at home!

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Adjusting to life as a new mom can be incredibly hard: the sleeplessness, the nursing, the fact that your body is still not the body it was before the baby. And when your on your third (or eighth or fifteenth) consecutive day at home in your pajamas you may start to wonder why this whole Mommy thing seemed like such a good idea in the first place.

Thank god for the Rookie Moms.

The Rookie Mom's Handbook: 250 Activities to Do With (and Without) Your Baby is a lifesaver for new moms. Heather Gibbs Flett and Whitney Moss -- the Rookie Moms -- have complied an exhaustive and engaging array of simple, manageable outings for new moms and their wee ones. The book, which is tiny enough to tuck into a diaper bag, is arranged by age, from month 1 to month 12; activities include #10 Take a nice hot shower (with how-to tips for keeping baby comfortable and safe), #89 Swing out sister (getting baby in a real swing, like out at the park or playground), and #188 Throw an inside-out party (celebrate the baby being on the outside by indulging in things you gave up while pregnant, like soft cheese or bungee jumping).

The premise behind the Rookie Mom's Handbook is simple: new moms need to get out of the house, every day. "No matter what activity you choose, we are adamant that you must get out of the house, even when it seems easier just to stay in. The baby will be less fussy, and you'll be happier too." Flett and Moss give moms seven good reasons to leave the house every day, the most important of which is number 7: "That's what people do, and moms are just people who have children."

This is the perfect baby shower gift for any rookie mom in your life. And let's face it, even if this is your second (or fourth or eighth) baby, you're still a rookie at some level.

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Actress Angelina Jolie claims that being pregnant is great for her sex life. Ms. Jolie is set to give birth to twins in the imminent future in her mother's native France.

Says Jolie, being round and full has given her a lust for life. She also comments that due to her size she and boyfriend Brad Pitt have had to become creative as traditional styles no longer are comfortable. Hence, sex is more fun.

Many women eschew sex in the late stages of pregnancy because it's uncomfortable or they feel too big to be sexy. Perhaps we should take some advice from Angelina. Also, there's no fear of getting pregnant when you're already there! Plus, I've heard sex is a good way to get labor going if the baby is late. Perhaps there is more up Ms. Jolie's sleeve then she is letting on (that's usually the case).

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In a recent New York Times article, the pain associated with not being able to have a child is likened to that of a back ache--dull, aching, and never quite goes away. For some women, the miracle of child birth and the joy of raising a child will always be unattainable--because of infertility, because of timing or age, or for unknown reasons.

Some of these women (and their partners) adopt. Some, like Pamela Mahoney, who was interviewed for the article, make the tough decision to move on. Many of them do this after countless hours and thousands of dollars spent on treatments, analysis and IVF. They decide to remain childless.

The question that keeps ringing in the back of my head is why not adopt? There are so many children out there who need loving homes, the kind that surely these couples would be able to offer. As one woman commented in the article, adoption isn't an easy answer. She'd seen the struggles of her friends who went through the adoption process. I've seen it to--some meet with success, others not so much. It's just as heartbreaking.

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